Green Tortoise San Francisco Hostel Blog

Awesomely, the ferry services in Bay Area are quite a convenient and picturesque trip.  From San Francisco, the Blue and Gold Fleet operates boats to wonderful places all over the Bay.  The most popular ferry rides for visitors and locals alike are those to Angel Island and Sausalito. 

Angel Island is beautiful and well worth a visit.  Most of those traveling there for a day of hiking, biking, and picnicking are from the Bay Area, but everyone's invited.  It's a remote little island void of traffic.  You can hike around or hire bikes, but bring plenty of food, liquor, and some water, and don't forget to catch the last ferry back. 

A century ago, tens of thousands of East Asian immigrants endured an ordeal at the immigration station at Angel Island (the "Ellis Island of the west") before continuing to the mainland.  Most of the detention camps are still intact and guided tours are available.



If you've got nothing else to do, I suppose you might as well go to Sausalito.  You're almost guaranteed a superb view of the San Francisco skyline, at the small cost of yuppies, high-end shops, and elite tourists.  Many visitors choose to ride a bike from San Francisco over the Golden Gate Bridge to Sausalito, and then catch a ferry back.



Additionally, the Blue and Gold Fleet runs trip to Oakland, Tiburon, and Vallejo, where a shuttle runs to Six Flags amusement park.



You can find the Blue and Gold Fleet ferry scheudle here: http://www.blueandgoldfleet.com/Ferry/

Every once in a while we who work here at the Green Tortoise are privileged to meet truly kind and exceptional people. It's not that we don't love all our guests that come through here (we don't, actually) but sometimes one really stands out; they tirelessly explore a new city with a degree of enthusiasm and exploratory spirit that is unrivaled in most tourist sectors. One such man was Clarke, who made that most of his stay in a way that was, well gee, I guess I'll just say downright inspiring! 

 Anyway, here is an email and photo collage that he sent to us a few weeks after his stay here. For those of you that might have been here during Bay to Breakers, you might remember Clarke as the fella who brought us potatoes from his homestate of Idaho, on the free dinner day during which we just happened to be serving our famous GOURMET POTATOES! ...

"I enjoyed my visit to the Green Tortoise and your City. It was fun to meet guests and listen to their plans, dreams and goals.  The meals were great (especially the potatoes), the beds were comfy, and location was perfect for quick sight-seeing excursions to Chinatown, Telegraph Hill, waterfront and Bay to Breakers race.  Taking the BART back to SFO was less confusing on the return trip. 

The free city walking tours were very well organized and historical.  During the North Beach walk, I found out that the GT was formerly the El Matador hotel in the 50s.  It was one of the "hot spots" for the jazz crowd, including Sinatra, Brando, Newman, Ellington, then later Sergio Mendes, and Jose Feliciano.

The Bay to Breakers race was an amazing event (my first).  It began at 8am sharp for the elite runners.  For those of us in the slower tiers, we walked 3 blocks as one big mob just to reach the starting line.  I "started" at 8:13am and finished at 11:09am, in just under 3 hours. In all the excitement at the start, I found it easier to do a slow jog to keep up with the crowd, rather than get pushed around while trying to walk.

I began OK and actually jogged/walked the first mile in 13 minutes.  Then at the 1.5 mile mark my left leg cramped up, maybe a muscle strain.  I stopped, dodged the runners, eased over to the curb and waited a minute for it to relax, but no luck.  I continued to walk another 100 yards, but the lower left calf muscle really began to throb. I waited in the shade, drank water and rested.  From there, I side-stepped my way the remaining 6 miles up the hilll, through the park, and down to the finish line.   My finisher certificate says that I finished in 2:56:13, placing #20194 out of 21976 total racers, I wasn't the last one, but close enough.

I was exhausted but enjoyed the day.  Many costumes (some clothing optional) and creative floats.  I went to the post race festival in Golden Gate Park and had a gyro sandwich and soda.  The return MUNI bus ride was a rolling party sing-a-long - complete with Bob Dylan, Moody Blues, Led Zepplin music from the 60s.

I went to the local Safeway store and bought an ace bandage and athetic tape to wrap the upper ankle. It turns out that my roommate (Axel) at the Green Tortoise is a trained German physical therapist, who also ran in the race (under 1 hour).  I watched as he wrapped up my ankle with expertise.  I felt good enough Monday to go bike riding along Fisherman's Wharf, Golden Gate Park, and finished by riding down the twisty curves of Lombard Street.  Enjoy the photos.
Thanks for the memories ---- Clarke"

The world’s largest DIY festival. In other words a collection of people that have decided why wait for the next new invention to make our lives more easy when we could be making it ourselves. There will be all sorts of crazy happenings, from battle bots to Victorian steam punks. Or if you have ever thought to yourself, “I wonder what the game mousetrap would be like if it was made for human sized mice,” then this is the kind of faire for you, science meets tinkering. Tickets are $30 for both days in advance, $50 at the gate, $20 in advance for one day or $25 at the gate. 

 

Though this fine event happens in San Mateo there are a few good ways to get there from the hostel: Caltrain + Walk Take Caltrain to the Hillsdale station. Cross the platform and go down the steps to the parking lot, on the east side (you’ll see debris from the old Bay Meadows racetrack). Walk left (north) along the fenced-off bike/pedestrian path, continuing north to the Event Center. It’s about a 10-15 minute walk. You must have a ticket before you board the train, we recommend that you purchase a round-trip ticket at the station. For further information, fares and schedules: www.caltrain.com or 1-800-660-4287.

 

 

Caltrain + Free ADA Shuttle Take Caltrain to Hayward Park station. Exit east side of track. Free, ADA-accessible shuttle to Event Center runs continuously from 1/2 hour prior to event, until 1/2 hour after event ends. From downtown San Francisco (4th and King St.) it’s about 33 minutes to Hayward Park Station.

 

BART + Caltrain Take BART to the Millbrae station. At the Millbrae station transfer to Caltrain and take Caltrain to the Hillsdale or Hayward Park stations, as above. BART information at: www.bart.gov

 

SamTrans (Bus)

 

Route KX from downtown San Francisco is a 50-minute ride. Schedule at:
http://www.samtrans.com/pdf/Schedules/Route_KX_12-21-08.pdf

Route 292 from downtown (Mission Street) San Francisco is an 80-minute ride. Schedule at:
http://www.samtrans.com/pdf/Schedules/Route_292_02-01-09_revise_A.pdf

Route 387 from downtown San Francisco is an 80-minute ride. Schedule at:
http://www.samtrans.com/pdf/Schedules/Route_297-397_02-01-09.pdf

Get off the bus as close to 25th Avenue in San Mateo as possible. Walk to 25th Avenue and then turn east (toward the bay) and walk about 2 blocks to the Event Center. 

Bicycle

 

Ride your bike and you’ll get free valet parking plus a $10 discount on your Maker Faire ticket!

To ride from San Francisco: Try out the San Mateo County North-South Bicycle Route. This is a flat route, which closely follows the Caltrain route. It starts on Tunnel Avenue, then uses Bayshore Boulevard through Brisbane and then a series of different streets through South San Francisco to get to Delaware Street in San Mateo. Follow Delaware Street south to the Expo Center. It takes about 1.5 hours to ride this route at an easy pace.

Get a map of the route at
http://bikesiliconvalley.org/files/nsroute/nsroutemap.pdf. NOTE: This is a schematic map to define the route; use it with a good local street map if you're not familiar with this area.

Drivers coming from the north can also park in Burlingame (it’s only $1 to park at the Caltrain station) and then follow the North-South Bike Route to the Event Center.

First Annual Dolores Park to Maker Faire Social Ride with Rock the Bike: Meeting at 8:30 a.m. and departing at 9:00 a.m. Saturday only, this ride is about 19 miles over mostly flat terrain, and will take a leisurely pace, cruising with great music on party bikes! Arrives at Maker Faire at approximately 11:00 a.m. Everyone’s invited; RSVP at http://rockthebike.com/node/10277.

Rail + Bike: Use Caltrain and/or BART to cover most of the distance, and then bike the final leg.

 

Caltrain allows bikes on board. Take your bike on board Caltrain and get off at the Hillsdale station; then bike the short route described above at "Caltrain."

BART allows bikes on board, however, not in the first car. Get off at the final Millbrae station; from there it's a 5-mile (30-40 minute) ride to the Expo Center (or you can board Caltrain for a connecting ride to the Hillsdale station). Exit on the west side of Millbrae station, onto California Avenue. Bike south on California, which becomes San Mateo Drive in San Mateo. At Tilton turn left, ride about 3 blocks on Tilton, and then turn right on Delaware Street. Continue south on Delaware for about 2 miles to the Event Center.

For more information on using your bike on Caltrain and BART go to:
http://www.bikesmc.org/id47.htm

Bicycle Valet

FREE, secure valet bicycle parking is located next to the Employee Parking lot on Delaware Street (north of the West Gate near 25th Ave.). Bicycle locks are encouraged. Valet service provided by the Silicon Valley Bicycle Coalition.

Bike valet hours:

• Saturday May 30th 9:00 a.m. -- 6:30 p.m.
  
  



• Sunday, May 31st 9:00 a.m. -- 6:30 p.m.
  
  

   

  Maker Faire Ticket Discount for Bike Riders Buy your adult Maker Faire ticket for just $15 (a $10 discount) at bike valet – cash only.

As it is for most people who encounter the Green Tortoise, my initial exposure was magically serendipitous. All boiling down to cosmic timing. A demi-glaze of time, if you will...

But rather than boring you with another story about being at the right place at the right time, I will tell you about some things that have happened to me since my initial encounter with the Green Tortoise.

I became a driver in the summer of 2007. In the first season I ticked off at least ten of my life's list of things to do and/or see before I die. Granted these are all things in The Great North American continent, so it's obvious I have a lot left on my list. But to mention a few, I saw great national parks like Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Yosemite, Zion, Bryce Canyon, Death Valley, Grand Canyon, and Big Bend. These are all great places to see and to hike and do outdoor activities. But there is soooo much more.

Next are the places and things that I had an idea about. Things that I would want to see if ever given the time, taking a back seat to some of the previously listed items because of lack of knowledge or familiarity. But by no means lacking in meaningful experiences and fun. These are awesome cities like Austin, Memphis, New Orleans, and Chicago. State parks like Kodachrome, and national monuments like Devil's Tower. All     still providing equally important experiences. I just didn't think I would ever have the time to get to them so they were on the back burner, so to speak, in terms of places to see.

Then I got to do the things I couldn't even have imagined. Not because of lack of imagination, but because they were the little know secrets of America. I like to call these "the things I didn't know, that I didn't know." These are off the beaten path and prove to be the most valuable experiences to me. Providing my life with moments like soaking under the brilliant Milky Way sky, in a bath tub that has literally become part of a giant geothermal calcium deposit, in Mystic Hot Springs, Utah. Or like the time when I met the "friendly" California gray whales. Having them sail underneath our tiny vulnerable ponga boat to take a look at us from the other side, and finally coming up to meet me nose to hand for a brief encounter of two alien species. Then there was the time that I spent in the Baja, at Playa Escondida. Camping on the beach, right by the water, hearing the sea lions go by at night. Watching the hummingbirds chase each other away in a quixotically territorial display of might. Eating fresh sushi harvested right out of the Sea of Cortez. Waking up everyday just before the sun breaks the horizon with the promise of a new adventure.

But there is still more. That's all great stuff, it's like the banana split of experiences, the fresh bananas are the national parks, the ice cream is the great American cities, and national monuments. The whipped cream is the Mystic hot springs and fresh sushi. But what could possibly make all that any better? What is that cherry on top?

For me the cherry on top is that one friend you didn't know, that you didn't know! That friendly stranger from Madakhazikstralia. The one you feel like you knew all along, They've been having a life that parallels your own, but on the other side of the planet. That person that the conversations just roll off the tongue with, you can have whatever opinion you want, you can agree to disagree. The friend you didn't know at the beginning of the trip but will have for the rest of your life. That, for me, is my cherry on top.

Did you catch a glimpse of our Green Tortoise Adventure Travel team? Shaunna, Dennielle, Yelda and Sarah ran this year's event at a speed slightly faster than the average tortoise, so you may have missed us this time! Don't fret, though - you may still catch a glimpse of us running in the Bay Area in our fashionable Green Tortoise wear! The GT online store (with t-shirts, hoodies, etc) will be opening soon - keep an eye out for the announcement! (Suggestions welcome).

The Green Tortoise will have its very own art car for this years Burning Man event. In keeping with this year's theme, Evolution, we'll be crawling around the Playa inside a giant Galapagos Tortoise. With seating for up to 25 people and the ability to operate both night and day, there should be plenty of opportunity for everyone hop on and enjoy the ride! Of course we still encourage our passengers to bring a bike to the event for maximum independence. If you're thinking of riding with us this year, you might want to book soon... space is running out!

Times are tough, but you can still have adventure in your life, and you don't need to break the bank to do so.  Green Tortoise trips are already the best deal around (we're not just saying that, it's true), but we're also offering a few specials too.  Unemployed, or just low on dough? Take advantage of one of our special offers to help ease the pain, but act quickly!

(1) Take 50% off the fare for our first Western Trail trip of the season, departing June 1 (offer expires May 31).

(2) Take 10% off the fare for either our June 5 Southern Crossing, or June 28 Northern Dream Cross-Country USA adventure (offer expires June 3).

(3) Take 10% of the fare for either of our two, summer 2009 Alaska Loop trips (offer expires May 27).

(4) Send us a copy of your current unemployment check and you will get 15% off any trip fare (offer expires June 3).

You must mention this discount offer at the time of booking.  Discount offers are only valid on new bookings and cannot be combined with any other discount offer.

BOREDOM AND ENNUI proliferate more quickly then the bubonic plague. Even faster than swine flu. That's why we need entertainment, constant, swift, and clumsy. So go eat, drink, and be merry. Just whatever you do, don't spread the sickness, don't be bored!

TUESDAY MAY 19TH

JIMMY BUFFET AND THE CORAL REEFER BAND
Sleep Train Pavilion At Concord
2000 Kirker Pass Rd
San Francisco CA 94521
925-676-8742
All ages $30.50 – 130.50

Jimmy Buffet inspired a generation of middle aged slackers to don Hawaiian t-shirts and throwback many a margarita. His super relaxed songs are tinged with just enough tropical ambience to help his listeners delude themselves into believing that their impending 40k retirement will offer them a second lease on life. Yeah, like the wife will leave that easily. Amiright?

THE MEATMEN plus Meat Sluts and Chapstik
Parkside
1600 17th St
San Francisco CA 94107
415-503-0393
All ages $15

The Meatmen made their name by imbibing the true spirit of punk rock and pissing out its pure form all over their audience. They rebel senselessly and animatedly against everything, they don't try to make any point about anything, and they don't even try to make good music. They succeed on all counts.


CREOLE BELLES
Ashkenaz
1317 San Pablo Ave
San Francisco CA 94702
510-525-5099
All ages $10

New Orleans is the birthplace of jazz, and hence has an intricate relationship to everything that is America. Come witness the dancing power of New Orleans culture and music and watch beautiful Creole women shake their sumptuous things.

WEDNESDAY MAY 20TH

THE DECEMBERISTS
Fox Theater
1807 Telegraph Ave.
San Francisco CA 94612
all ages $35

The Decemberists not only live up to the hype, but appear to be getting better with age. As is the trend in modern popular music, The Decemberists music is both nostalgic and forward looking. Musicians aren't any longer expected to just make music, but to consciously embody some sphere of America's pop culture intellect, and still be entertaining.

OBITS with The Lights and Best Wishes
Bottom Of The Hill
1233 17th St
San Francisco CA 94107
415-621-4455
all ages $10/$12

 Hot Snakes, Drive Like Jehu, and Rocket from the Crypts front-man's new act, The Obits, just debuted their new album on Sub Pop records. Their shilling the same post hardcore tune-age as the aforementioned bands, but maybe with a little more clarity then before, and a little more maturity. You can't tell that I've never heard them before, can you?

THURSDAY MAY 21ST

CLASSICAL INDIAN SITAR CONCERT feat. Smita Nagdev
Asian Art Museum of San Francisco
200 Larkin St
San Francisco CA 94118
415-668-8921
all ages free

It's a free concert by one of the worlds acknowledged sitar masters. Why are you not going?

POPFEST 2009 feat. Suburban Kids With Biblical Names and Oh No Oh My and My Teenage Stride and Pelle Carlberg
Rickshaw Stop
155 Fell St
San Francisco CA 94102
415-861-2011
21+ $15

Check out some really sweet indie bands and the texture on their tight fitting pants and the sweeps of their a-symmetrical haircuts. I'm really just kidding, there are some exceptionally talented acts playing at San Francisco's increasingly popular Popfest, starting with Sweden's self-consciously pop punky/experimental (according to their Myspace page) group Suburban Kids with Biblical Names. What a keen eye for irony, amiright?

AFROLICIOUS with B Lee and J Elrod
Elbo Room
647 Valencia St
San Francisco CA 94110
415-552-7788
21+ $6

Afrolicious exudes all the eroticism, narcissism, and energy of a seventies funk hoe-down, but maybe sans all the cocaine. Actually, maybe with all the cocaine. I'm not sure. Ask around. Then get down. I said GET DOWN.

FRIDAY MAY 22ND

SIR RICHARD BISHOP AND HIS FREAK OF ANY ARABY ENSEMBLE with Oaxacan and Count Loach Fillet's Haunted Jukebox
Stork Club
2330 Telegraph Ave
San Francisco CA 94612
510-444-6174
21+ $10

Sir Richard Bishop of the Sun City Girls is not as talented a pervuyer of Indian raga as the above mentioned Smita Nagdev, but he does play an incredible psychedellic styled guitar which exhibits influences from all around the world, including the raga, and flamenco and jazz and country too.

B.B. KING
Mountain Winery
14831 Pierce Rd
San Francisco CA 95070
408-741-2822
All ages $55-$98

I know what you're thinking: over thirty bucks for a show that's not Jimmy Buffet? Well folks, this is BB King, who helped invent rock and roll and fire pistol groups like the Stones and the Kinks and the Yardbirds wouldn't have theirr balls if not for performers like King. He's still got it too, his voice commands an audience of thousands or a few dozen. This performance in an intimate setting is choice for catching a piece of history.

NOMO with Unpopable and The Dry Spells
Bottom of the Hill
1233 17th St
San Francisco CA 94107
415-621-4455
21+ $10/$12

Nomo is a funk powerhouse, and they include a diverse plethora of other genres in their music. But they never forget the funk. Get down, you don't have a choice. I said shake that thing and GET DOWN!

Hello!  The Bay Area is going on a rampage this weekend.  As happens often on summer weekends, San Francisco and it's neighboring towns are offering some wonderful and free prospects for your entertainment and money. 

Saturday, May 9th - Free Museums!
If you need to get out of the sun today, admission to some great museums will be on the Koret Foundation (I'd suggest the MOMA, Palace of the Legion of Honor, Exploratorium, Zoo, De Young, and, if you can make it up there, the Chabot Space & Science Center).  Most are open approximately 10am - 5pm:

Asian Art Museum
Bay Area Discovery Museum
Chabot Space & Science Center
Children’s Discovery Museum of San Jose
Contemporary Jewish Museum
Exploratorium
Judah L. Magnes Museum
Lawrence Hall of Science
Legion of Honor
M. H. de Young Museum
Museum of the African Diaspora
Oakland Museum of California
San Francisco Museum of Modern Art
San Francisco Zoo


San Jose Museum of Art
Tech Museum of Innovation IMAX Movie
Zeum

Next, KFOG, a local radio station, is throwing a music festival on Peir's 30 and 32 all day today.  Fireworks at 9pm.  Try to catch the explosions, they'll be close, and the GT staff can suggests some good hilltop look-out points.
The schedule: http://www.kfog.com/Pages/KFOGKaBoom2009/KFOGKaBoomSchedule/tabid/635/Default.aspx

Lastly, the "How Weird Science Faire" is taking place on Sunday (http://www.howweird.org/).  It's described as "ten blocks of art and celebration, and ten stages of music. Plus
performances and colorful costumes, vendors from around the world, food
and drinks, and much more!"  Seems like it's got some extraterrestrial undertones as well.  Probably not a great spot to bring your mother.  Here's a picture from the last faire:

When it comes to summer festivals, fairs, and parties, the San Francisco Bay Area blows most U.S regions out of the water.  On top of all the wonderful fixtures that abound within the Bay Area (see our great blogs below) there comes a summer explosion of creative energy and celebration which drives locals and visitors alike into a joyous frenzy that lasts over three months.  Here are some free or affordable May events to get you started:

May 10:  How Weird Street Faire - Centered at Howard and 2nd St, SF; www.howweird.org.
12-7p.m., $10 donation, $5 in costume. Reboot the motherboard with 10
blocks of art and celebration, 10 stages of music, performances, and constumes, and countless food and craft vendors.

May 15 - 17: Oakland Greek (the country...) Festival - 4700 Lincoln, Oakland. (510) 531-3400, www.oaklandgreekfestival.com.
Call for more info. Let's hear an "opa!" for Greek music, dance, food,
and a stunning view at the Greek Orthodox Cathedral of the Ascension's
three-day festival.

May 15 - 24: Young at Art Festival - Various venues and times; (415) 750-3600, www.deyoungmuseum.org.
The Visual and Performing Arts Office of the San Francisco Unified
School District unveils this nine-day celebration of student creativity
in visual, literary, media, and performing arts hosted by the De Young.

May 16:  Asian Heritage Street - Celebration Civic Center/Little Saigon District SF; www.asianartsf.com 11am - 6pm, free.  The largest gathering of Asian Pacific Americans in the nation features artists, DJs, martial arts, Asian pop culture, j-cars, karakoke, and much more.

May 16 - 17: Himalayan Fair Live - Oak Park, 1301 Shattuck, Berkeley; (510) 869-3995, www.himalayanfair.net.
Sat, 10a.m. -7p.m.; Sun, 10a.m. -5:30p.m., $5 donation. This benefit
for humanitarian grassroots projects in the Himalayas features food,
drink, traditional music and dance, and a raffle.

May 16 - 17: Supercon -  San Jose Convention Center, San Jose; www.super-con.com.
Sat, 10a.m. -6p.m.; Sun, 10a.m. -5p.m., $20-$30 (not cheap, I know.). The biggest stars of
comics, sci-fi, and pop culture – Frank Cho, Michael Golden, and Adam
Hughes — descend on downtown San Jose for panels, discussions,
displays, and presentations.

May 17: Bay to Breakers - Begins at Howard and Spear, ends at the Great Highway along Ocean Beach, SF; www.baytobreakers.com.
8a.m. , $39-$55. It's been saved! Sort of. Register your float, keep
your alcohol discrete, and don't pee in the street if you want the
running Elvises, drinking nurses, and other traditional participants to
get to keep enjoying the race.

May 20 - 31: San Francisco International Arts Festival - Various venues, SF; (415) 399-9554, www.sfiaf.org.The theme for this multidisciplinary festival is "The Truth In Knowing/Threads in Time, Place, Culture.

May 23 - 24: Carnaval - Mission District, SF; (415) 651-1811, www.carnavalsf.com.
10a.m. -6p.m., free. California's largest annual multicultural parade
and festival celebrates "Roots of Revival: Seeds of Change" with food,
crafts, activities, performances, and the Grande Parade starting on
Sunday at 9:30am.

May 29 - June 9:  Healdsburg Jazz Festival - Check Web site for ticket prices and venues in and around Healdsburg; (707) 433-4644, www.healdsburgjazzfestival.com. This 11th annual, week-and-a-half-long jazz festival will feature a range of artists, from James Moody to Esperanza Spalding.

May 31: UNION Design Festival Octavia at Hayes, SF; www.uniondesignsf.com.
11a.m. -6p.m., free. More than 3000 people will descend on Hayes Valley
to enjoy the work of more than 150 independent designers of clothing,
jewelry, paper goods, and more.

Coming up in June...
Union St. Festival!
Robogames!
North Beach Festival!!!
Haight Ashbury Festival!!!
Stern Grove Music Festival!!!
Sierra Nevada Music Festival!!!
San Francisco Pride!!!
did I mention Robogames?!!!

For more info on this incredible summer festival line-up that kicks butt stayed tuned to the GT Blog or swing by to chat with the savvy and sexy front desk staff who will fill you in!

What would one of the most pretentious cities in the world be without a plethora of fantastic, independently owned bookstores? Well it wouldn’t be San Francisco, dammit. Here in the city by the bay we take our coffee with conversations about geopolitics and James Joyce. Don’t think that this means that we’re stuck up or prude – the reckless, indulgent partying abilities of the goatee-having, café frequenting pseudo intellectual crowd is well documented. It’s just that we relieve our hangovers with prolonged visits to dimly lit bookstores. Nothing relieves those morning after aches and bouts of nausea like getting lost in a labyrinth of colossal wooden shelves filled to the brim with the likes of Horace and Hesse. So when you’re not drowning your liver in sorrow-solvent, and when you’re not enjoying the GT’s famous FREE DINNERS!!!, visit these intellectual institutions and educate yourself. Because how else will you impress drunken UC Berkeley girls? Not with your charm, you inglorious bastard!

GREEN APPLE BOOKS
This may be the most well known bookstore in San Francisco. It is huge, beatific, behemoth, burning shining Saturn. Okay, enough of that now. Green Apple sells new and used books, and their selection is incredibly comprehensive. There is a main building which is bigger than most bookstores, and then there is a satellite building too. Here you can easily satiate your need for both Heidegger and RL Stein and still not break your five dollar a day budget.

(Note: Like all things popularly well known and well regarded, this bookstore has incurred the opinionated wrath of San Francisco’s literate elite. It might have something to do with the fact that Green Apple sells t-shirts that say “I (insert picture of a Green Apple here in place of a heart) SAN FRANCISCO,” and shilling books titled “Change the World with Ten Bucks” doesn’t help their image amongst the doubters. But never mind the jaded and the cynical, they can hang out in their hip bookstores with empty shelves and overpriced overwrought tomes and harp on about corporate cultures gentrifying and raping of San Francisco, and while spilling café Americanos on their goatees and issuing petty slanders against independent bookstores’ “big business” they breathe asbestos and when they finally get mesothelioma their upper middle class yuppie parents will bankroll a powerhouse lawyer with a name like Bob Log who advertises on KRON at 3 in the afternoon…)

CITY LIGHTS BOOKSTORE
City Lights Bookstores focuses on beat-era lit, and few stores in SF can lay claim to a better selection of William Burroughs. The only issue here is the price. It’s hard to shake the feeling that City Lights is less of a bookstore and more of a tourist trap. But for you, the tourist, it’s perfect. And maybe trap is too harsh a word. Lawrence Ferlingheteti founded City Lights in the fifties, and City Lights publishing house brought Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl” into the world and were subsequently charged with crimes of obscenity. City Lights Bookstore is a cultural landmark and has easily earned its high place in the pantheon of American folklore.

BORDERLANDS BOOKS
So you’ve got this nerdy brother back home, and he’s heard of this famous bookstore in San Francisco that specializes in Sci-Fi and fantasy. Here you are traveling the world while he’s back at home playing Dungeons and Dragons, right? Yeah, sure. I’m on to you guy. I saw peeking from your knapsack a copy of the Monster Manual. No need to be embarrassed. This is San Francisco after all, no matter how much of a nerd or a delinquent you may be there is someone just around the corner doing something far more demoralizing and humiliating than even your worst impulses would condone. Borderlands Books’ knowledgeable, friendly staff will indulge your inner geek. Make sure to pet the hairless cat, Ridley, too.

BOOKS INC
Books Inc lays claim to being the oldest independent books seller. I don’t know if that’s true or not, and since I’m not in the mood for research, I’m simply going to reiterate their unfounded claim. Books Inc is the oldest used books seller in the world. Wow, that’s impressive. Besides that historical precedent Books Inc is very cozy, not cozy meaning lame, but cozy meaning a good place to hang out and paw through a variety of genre’s and styles. From books that will spend their lives on tabletops being perused before family outings to wine bars to books that demand to be read between fits of depression and self hatred, you’ll find most anything at this yuppie-sheik lit merchant, enabling your need to distract yourself from the relentless horrors of daily life. And at a mighty fine price too.

BOUND TOGETHER
Speaking of distracting yourself the relentless horrors of daily life, what better distraction is there than politics and social theory? At Bound Together you can do more than just purchase at an incredibly fair price books that have been socially taboo for years, you can engage the scruffy dude behind the counter in a vigorous debate about the differences between Trotskyism and Marxism. Sure, outside the world might be aflame with disease and poverty, but you’re working on solving it, one antiquated theory at a time. All jaded cynicism aside, besides having a great collection of political and social theory and other historical literature, this collective has been a positive social force for years and have done more than their fair share to keep San Francisco community based and corporate America’s greedy interests at bay.

DOG EARED BOOKS
Maybe (probably?) the best bookstore in San Francisco. Fairly priced books and a lot of them. Few other places in the world sell such uber-pretentious lit like Baudrillard for less than five bucks. Seriously, go take a look at Barnes and Nobles, if they even sell Baudrillard it’s like fifteen dollars! Who would pay that much to get bored? Within an hour at Dog Eared you’ll have surfed hundreds of years of wordy history and you’ll still have hundreds more left. So catch up on your Norse mythology and catch the word virus. This place takes my award for best bookstore in SF.